Leap Frog with Imaginary Friends

Phase I-You Want Me To Do What Now?

Leap frog is the staple of childhood games, but, alas, I cannot think of a time when I have played it. Surely, there must have been a moment when I did, seeing that it is such an innocuous part of childhood. If I had played it though, who would I have played it with? I did not have many friends, and the playmates I did have were more likely to pretend to be frogs (or even catch real ones) than play leap frog.

But now that I think on it, I did, however, have a large number of imaginary friends. This is not that unusual in childhood, though perhaps my talking for them was. Furthermore, most of them were adults from various books, television shows and movies. I remember having long conversations with people such as Alan Grant and Ian Malcolm of Jurassic Park, James Kirk of Star Trek, Cordell Walker and James Trivet of Walker, Texas Ranger. Perhaps the best way to get back into childhood would be to play a game of leap frog with these fictitious people.

How hard could this possibly be?

Phase II-Logistics, Logistics, Logistics

Rule 1- Have imaginary friends who are friendly, helpful and willing to do anything for you, even years after you’ve “grown-up”

No. Scratch that. That’s Rule 2. Rule 1 is have imaginary friends who are not pragmatic.

“You do realize we’re imaginary right?

“And the ability for you to actually touch us is nil?”

“I came back from Tahiti with that nice kid for this?”

“The ability for a real person to physically leap over a non-existent entity is impossible.”

“Yeah, and how old are you? Because I’m forty. And I haven’t done this in like thirty ye— I’m not doing this!”

“This sounds like fun!!!”

While it can be a relief to have that one enthusiastic soul, it is better to have the one enthusiastic soul whom no one wants to injure. Alas, this was not to be.

After much wheedling and cajoling my only ally was released. All right, I told them that since they were acting childish it was not to big a leap (pardon the pun) for them to play a childish game. And anyway the sooner it was done, the sooner they could go.

This brings us to Rule 3: Make sure the camera is charged. No further explanation is needed.

Phase III-Survival of the Fittest What I Learned

Childhood is a wonderful time, filled with many happy memories, and friendly imaginary friends—who at that particular moment like you. Who don’t like being interrupted when they’re in Tahiti. To be fair, some did not mind getting away from the “sugar-faced walking contagions,” and only one was actually interested in the task, but still nothing brings back the happy memories of childhood quite like a game of leap frog.

Also, hopping around with a camera is highly awkward and a bit like being in a parody of a spy movie. Just when you think it’s safe to do the secretive filming, someone else jogs by. Or a photography-oriented person wanders around snapping pictures. Or people exit their car near you.

However, it all did bring back the memories of childhood, especially those middle school years where part of you grasps to the more youthful pursuits with people no one else can see, while another part of you aspires to be those lucky people out for a walk.

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