Dating for most sane people is a difficult task. It is an activity requiring much anxiety, preparation, etiquette, and of course the exuberant amount of bull shitting. However, for a couple that has been together for five years it is a whole new game. There is not the requirement of nice clothes and the occasional fluke bowel movement is no longer a deal breaker. But this does not mean that dating gets any easier. If anything, it gets harder. There are only so many ideas a man can come up with before seeming repetitive and boring. The newbees have it easy. They can bank on the cliché dinner and a movie scenario, where as I have to rely heavily on my creative intuitions to keep the relationship fresh.

This assignment in many ways was a gift from the heavens. Saturday, being parents weekend at Illinois State University, was in fact a busy day. I took my parents on a tour of the campus, trying to prove to them that their hard earned money is going towards a good cause. Between the walks, tailgating, and dinner, I did not have time to touch base with my girlfriend Sarah about her day. Normally, this would not be a tragedy of any sort, however as the saying goes, “shit happens.”

Unfortunately, Sarah was in a quarrel with a group of her close friends. Although common in most friendships, in the midst of a fight emotions are on edge. So on Saturday night she drove down to ISU to attend my Halloween party. Now, this is my note to the ladies out there; when your boyfriend is dressed in an obnoxious costume, e.g. baby Jesus, it is most definitely not the time to discuss plans involving marriage, kids, or anything to do with the above said categories. Sorry to say, but Sarah did venture into this dangerous territory and was greeted not by me, but Joe College. As my throat closed up, and beads of sweat trickled down my face, Sarah felt as if her two support systems had just collapsed and her standing in life was wiped out from under her feet. It is not that my future plans do not include her; they are in fact committed to her. But, my most immediate commitment at the time was making sure that the girl dressed up as Tinkerbell would stop puking in my washer machine.

Needless to say, I was in desperate need for a date to cheer Sarah up. The next day I found a stroll through Miller Park Zoo to be a great attempt. As we were checking out the neon colored frogs I remembered this assignment and thought that it would be a perfect time to play some good old leap frog. Sarah was all for the notion and we found the perfect spot to document our game. Now as you check out our pictures, you can’t help but notice the huge tank in the background. There can be a bunch of cheesy metaphors made about the object. Maybe that the future ahead of us will be a battle, but having each other is all the armor we’ll need. Do you think it was possible that Tinkerbell was just puking from hearing a cheesy line like that? Nah, but I think I could puke from hearing it.

Anyways, what I do want to point out is that in the craziness of relationships, when the future stresses you out and daily occurrences are too much to handle, return to the fundamentals with your significant other. Just play. It’s the perfect date. Life once again seems simple, manageable, and fun. So I encourage you to go out, and take the leap.
-Ray Mc